Body Identity and the Feminine Mystique
By Laurie Bogart Morrow
A great deal of attention, it seems, is spent on defining that elusive, changeable, ethereal entity known as the feminine mystique. This is not unique to our time; the phenomenon has puzzled philosophers throughout the ages, from before Socrates to beyond Freud— who wrote, "What do women want?" To his dying day, Freud was never able to find the answer to the question. Likewise, artists throughout the world and time have painted and sculpted the womanly form in every conceivable style, manner and method.
Renoir, Rubens and most periods of art, from ancient to Medieval to Renaissance to today, celebrated even relished the abundant, curvaceous woman as the epitome of health, wealth, happiness and exquisiteness. Even the flappers of the Roaring Twenties and chorus girls of the silent movies were gently rounded. That changed with the 60s Revolution and its poster girl Twiggy and sadly, our culture is still stuck in that groove. No thanks are owed to Hollywood, which is singularly responsible for the unfounded, unhealthy, unconscionable declaration that anorexic-like thinness is the ultimate beauty, (or to fashion magazines that encourage such life-sapping hypocrisy.)
The tragedy is, the centuries-old ideal of womanhood has been lost somehow. I'm here to tell you, though, that if you are honest enough, and look hard and long enough, you will find it. It's who you are and you can find it, if you want. It's right there, inside of you... in a corner of your soul.
I had come to realize fairly late in the game that the search for Who You Are is a life-long journey that begins with your first breath and never ends (according to every great religion in the world, which tells us that life does not end with death.) For me, hearth and home was the fulcrum and focus of my existence as it well should be for any woman who takes on the responsibility of raising children. When my sons grew up and set forth on their own road, I realized that I had yet to travel my own. It was then that my journey began.
A crossroad in that journey came to me a year ago, when I took a long, honest look in the mirror. At 49, I was almost three decades and ten sizes larger than I had been the day I walked down the aisle. So much had happened in the ensuing years. Yes, there were curves; yes, the upper arms were fuller, the waist thicker, the jawline softer, and breasts that were round and prominent. I realized, to my surprise, that I liked what I saw. That I enjoyed living and life and all that goes with it fine food, fine wine and fine friends to share precious family times. And that I was content within myself and on the outside, too. Starvation for a false ideal of beauty was, quite simply, dishonest.
Unfortunately, single-digit sizes line the racks of most stores and more than 60% of American women, I understand, are size 12 or larger. Though times are a'changing, it has only been quite recently that the fashion world is coming to terms with that fact. But for those of us looking for elegance, style, and clothes that offset our inner and outer beauty (remember, any woman is beautiful if she believes in herself. Even the most homely women can be beautiful. Look at Coco Chanel: she was a plain woman who effused style and in the process became the beauty that she believed herself to be.) And so it was, that in my journey my path crossed Peggy Lutz's.
Here, in Peggy's web pages, you will see me. Who am I? I am Everywoman: Mother. Grandmother. Wife. Divorcee. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Neighbor. My creed is: work hard and do your best, and along the road of Life, live each and every day to the fullest; for we none of us ever can know what tomorrow may bring. I suspect that's your creed, too.
And along the road, celebrate yourself. Peggy's clothes are a celebration to me. Whenever I slip into one of her beautifully crafted, inspired clothes, I celebrate myself. I become beautiful and that gives me confidence and the aura that enfolds a confident woman is never lost on those that surround us. (Try some confidence on for size and you'll see how perfectly it fits!) Among the greatest moments of my life was walking down the grand staircase at Skibo Castle in Scotland, the stately home of the late Andrew Carnegie, where Madonna and also Ashley Judd were married, in a Peggy Lutz custom creation. I wore a majestic floor-length black flocked velvet coat over a Chanel red velvet Juliet gown.
Just last week I was on the Royal Scotsman, a magnificent luxury train that harkens to the romantic Victorian period. Peggy had made me the most magnificent floor-length kimono in aubergine and blue burnout over a black glimmer floor-length T-dress. The compliments from the men (and women, too!) made me feel like a princess. Tomorrow I will be on Fifth Avenue in New York at the Orvis store doing a book signing, and will be wearing the short kimono and pants ensemble that you see me wearing here in Peggy's web magazine.
As you come to terms with your own inner and outer beauty, remember that the clothes and hair and makeup are the cosmetics that embellish that which makes us beautiful: and these things are kindness, compassion and goodwill toward your neighbor, laughter and love, thoughtfulness and generosity. And in the dark and quiet moments of the silent night, count your blessings and memories. (I keep my mine tucked in a secret corner of my heart and take them out from time-to-time to bathe in the golden glow of their warmth.)
There are three wisdoms that I cherish. Two, believe it or not, come from the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Woodsman have finally met the man who was the Wizard, and he bestows upon each of them a tribute to their finest quality. For the Scarecrow, it is his brain. For the Cowardly Lion, it is his courage. And for the Tin Woodsman, it is his heart. The Wizard places a chain with an enamel heart around the Woodsman's shoulders as a sign of his great compassion then says, "Remember, my friend, a heart is not judged by how much you love, but how you are loved by others." The second is in the Good Witch's parting question to Dorothy. "What have you learned, Dorothy," the Good Witch asks. And Dorothy says, if you are searching for home, you should never look further than your own backyard. Because if it isn't there, it wasn't there in the first place.
The last wisdom is engraved on the tombstone of Judge Parker Merrow, a municipal court judge and editor of a county newspaper. He was, by universal consent, a great and good man; and the words chiseled in stone say: "He used well in life the tools that God gave him."
May this, when our time comes, be said of us all. Return to PLP News »
